Thugs in the Pulpit

When a well-known megachurch leader stepped down recently to deal with charges he broke the law, it was only the latest in an ongoing series of ministry resignations or firings stretching back years. Many allegations deal with such abusive behavior as bullying, arrogance, strong-arming staff members, or leaders treating themselves to lavish benefits not readily available to other staff members. In some cases, adultery.

“There’s always a mixture of stuff,” says Lance Ford, a former church planter and author who advocates a less business-driven, CEO model of church leadership. “It’s not just sexual impropriety, it’s the controlling leadership which very much echoes corporate America—dominating people, the very thing Jesus said not to do.”

Nor are the abuses limited to megachurches. The director of a western Colorado retreat center that offers eight-day intensive workshops for troubled ministry leaders has counseled pastors feeling the same pressure to grow a church of several dozen as one of several thousand.

“There is some overlap,” says Michael MacKenzie, director of Marble Retreat, located 30 miles northwest of Aspen. “As humans we have a desire to feel adequate, have a meaningful life, and be part of something that’s great and growing. We want to be a success.”

That craving for success is creating enormous pressure, judging by November 2021 research from The Barna Group that revealed that 38 percent of pastors are thinking about quitting. That was up nearly 10 percent over the previous year. Such factors as political wrangling, social media, the pandemic and the increasing impact of a non-Christian culture spell a thankless task for many preachers.

The boomerang effect can foster more fear among pastors, leading some to become more controlling and abusive in their leadership. With humans’ desire for self-deception allowing them to ignore warning signs they have crossed a line, MacKenzie believes every pastor needs a Nathan-style figure in their life. Someone who can confront them eye to eye, without fear of losing their job for speaking out.

“A pastor needs that comrade, whether another pastor or a person they went to seminary with, who can say, ‘You’re full of yourself,’” says MacKenzie, author of the new book, Don’t Blow Up Your Ministry: Defuse the Underlying Issues That Take Pastors Down.

“There are a lot of things pastors can notice where they can see they’re on the wrong track, (like) putting programs ahead of people or putting too much pressure on the staff to have the perfect service. (A warning) can be a red light for a pastor to say ‘I was too hard on that person. I was too upset when the song didn’t go right.’”

Indeed, a lack of self-awareness is often a problem for those in the pulpit. In an October 2020 interview with Christianity Today, psychologist Diane Langberg said seminaries haven’t done enough to teach leaders the importance of understanding themselves and their vulnerabilities.

She has worked with numerous men and women over the years who never asked themselves tough questions, like the pastor whose father was abusive physically and verbally.

“He’ll be full of wounds, and that’s going to affect how he uses his position of leadership,” Langberg said. “But his ignorance of himself and the wounds he’s carrying make him vulnerable to feeding off his sheep. I can’t tell you how many pastors have sat in my office, weeping, saying, ‘I don’t know how I got here’ after they’ve behaved abusively themselves.”

Among signs MacKenzie says can signal a lapse into abusive behavior:

• Frequent irritability with staff members instead of the joy and satisfaction of serving God together
• Cutting too many corners, such as plagiarizing sermon material
• Medicating themselves to deal with stress while rationalizing that it is necessary in order to fulfill God’s call on their lives

“If a pastor has to have a half-bottle of wine at night to ‘come down’ from ministry, that’s a problem,” the counselor says. “I’ve heard that a lot. One pastor told me, ‘I don’t drink wine, I pound wine to deal with ministry.’

“When a pastor has to medicate, that’s not good. Sabbath is being in community and healthy recovery. If you’re reaching outside, that stress, frustration, resentment and bitterness is going to leak on people.”

A NEW MODEL

Since it’s been nearly 10 years since Ford wrote UnLeader: Reimaging Leadership…Why We Must, he acknowledges sometimes getting discouraged with news of continuing leadership abuses. And yet, Ford is also encouraged by the growing chorus of those expressing agreement with his ideas.

“I was calling out corporate style leadership and business practices imported into the church 10-11 years ago,” says Ford, whose most recent book (The Starfish and the Spirit) talks about the power of a decentralized church movement. “Now you hear a lot of people mentioning it. I think that’s definitely because of all the guys who have gone down the last five, six or seven years.”

In Ford’s mind, the answer to abusive leadership lies not in producing better leaders, but in reforming the American church model. He calls the single-leader system a “petri dish” for such behavior, a system designed to produce the results that we have been seeing.

Ford says a primary reason for the authoritarian leadership style so many pastors follow is it’s the only one they’ve been taught. Namely, that they are the top dog.

“Even the nicest ones in the room still carry the weight of having to be the smartest person in the room on just about everything,” Ford says. “They’ve got to be the CEO, leading fund-raiser, marriage expert, child-rearing expert, and theological expert. Even the ones who don’t have a dictatorial heart tend to get bowed down under that.”

In its place, Ford and others advocate the five-fold ministry outlined in Ephesians 4:11-12, where apostles, prophets, evangelists and teachers function alongside shepherds. He says that requires a lot of re-learning for pastors and shifting from a boss to a mentor. The latter works with others to discover what they need to find the best version of themselves and how they can use their God-given gifts.

Ford says one of the best role models for this approach is recently retired quarterback Tom Brady. To his last day in pro football, Brady had a quarterback coach. Not because that coach was a better quarterback, but in observing Brady’s abilities, nuances, and tendencies the coach helped him discover the best quarterback inside.

Whether it’s Brady, golfer Tiger Woods or tennis great Serena Williams, all great athletes have coaches to help them refine their game. Ford says making the change to coaching people instead of directing them requires a massive shift, but also brings great joy and relief.

“You go from directing to equipping,” Ford says. “You ask, ‘What are the resources and the tools that the people on my team need?’ The first question I ask leaders is: ‘How is it among people? Are you exercising domination over your team?’ The way I’m treating them is the way I’m treating Jesus. When you start doing that, that can change the way you act toward others.”

DEFINING THE CALL

While Ford’s arguments make a lot of sense, not every pastor is going to decentralize overnight, especially since that requires congregational agreement. In the meantime, MacKenzie says pastors should remember the value of accountability, protecting their time and energy through specifying their call and responsibilities, and taking a sabbatical.

He thinks they should also avoid “adding” to God’s call by doing such things as using ministry as therapy—trying to meet their emotional and identity needs—striving for perfection, adding their pet projects to it, or embracing a Savior complex.

MacKenzie says the benefits of pastors being clear on their calling is it helps with decision-making, helps set limits and boundaries, promotes excellence, and allows them to better delegate tasks.

It behooves leaders to start working on any problems they recognize in themselves, especially since the public’s trust in clergy has been declining for the past two decades. MacKenzie sees the church’s tendency to cover up any moral, financial or other pastoral missteps as only harming its credibility and authenticity.

He says that is particularly a problem with younger generations, who have a higher “BS meter” and are skeptical of denominations, missions organizations, and other hierarchies.

“They’ve grown up where there’s a lot of untruth in the news,” MacKenzie says. “The way to deal with that is vulnerability. By and large the church has tended toward protection. We need to be more honest about what is going on and living in truth. We can come across as hypocritical. If we’re going to build trust, there needs to be openness and honesty.”

Finally, the counselor has one parting word of advice, which appears near the end of chapter 7 in Don’t Blow Up Your Ministry: Define your call. Live in your call. Let others pick up responsibilities at the church.

“And remember,” MacKenzie says, “it is God who saves people, not you.”