The Home Advantage

By Rodney Gage

Growing up in a stable Christian home, I have personally experienced the power of a lasting Christian heritage and legacy. My parents were devout Christians who successfully imparted their faith and values to me from a young age. As any parent can attest today, this is no small feat. And, given their incongruous backgrounds, it was truly a divine miracle.

My mother, an only child from a broken home, and my father, a former street gang leader and drug addict, married at a very young age. Despite their challenging start, they gave their lives to Jesus shortly after marrying.

A man who led my parents to Christ offered them a place to stay and mentored them, teaching them about a godly marriage and home. This mentoring relationship changed their lives, and they went on to have four sons, all of whom are now ordained ministers. I’m thankful my parents broke the cycle of dysfunction in their family tree and imparted their faith to me and my brothers.

In college, I was drawn to my future wife, Michelle, because of her genuine heart for the Lord. Like me, Michelle’s parents had diligently imparted their faith to her. After 30 years of marriage, three kids and two grandchildren later, Michelle and I are overwhelmed with gratitude. Our parents’ Christian legacies are thriving!

That’s why Michelle and I are so passionate about helping parents leave a lasting spiritual legacy for their children. We know firsthand how positive and life-changing it can be. It’s amazing to think how rare that experience is, but it also breaks my heart. Today, millions of parents are struggling to know how to impart their faith and values into the hearts of their children. They want to leave a Christian legacy—they just don’t know how.


THE PARENTING CRISIS

Families are under attack, and there continues to be a widening gap between the church and reaching the youth of our nation. Ultimately, that gap is with the parents.

According to Barna Research, 83% of Christian parents feel inadequate in teaching their children biblical principles. Parents ranked their efforts related to morality and spirituality at the bottom, and they fear losing their children to a godless culture. Parents are crying out for help! Most parents lack a clear plan to instill their faith and values in their children amid the endless distractions and confusing voices of today’s culture.

Unfortunately, there are no schools for parenting. Most parents today confess to not having good role models growing up, leading many to be more permissive or reactive to behavioral issues with their kids instead of taking a proactive approach to raising spiritually strong, resilient kids.

Even with all the information available today, parents are starving for wisdom. The cry for help and longing for guidance is being felt by parents everywhere. The question is, where do they go, and whom do they look to for help and advice?


THE ANSWER: THE LOCAL CHURCH

Unfortunately, many churches do not have a plan in place either. Outside of an annual sermon series on marriage or relationships, and a few family-focused events, the church has struggled to train parents on how to impart their faith to the next generation. But is there any task more vital for a parent to learn, or one where the stakes are so high?

Additionally, church attendance among Christians is rapidly declining. According to research, Christians are attending church once a month. Sadly, academics, athletics and the arts have become the new “holy trinity” for the American family. Consider these facts: There are 168 hours in a week. For kids, social media/screen-time gets 42 hours. School gets 35 hours. The church gets two hours at best, if they even attend. As you can see, this trend isn’t working! Families are distracted and fragmented more than ever. 

Local churches consist of perhaps millions of parents. These are millions of people in direct relationship, day after day, year after year, with the next generation of potential Christian leaders—their children. Every Christian parent needs to understand the amazing opportunity they wake up to every single day: the opportunity to disciple their children, impart their faith and leave a lasting Christian legacy for generations to come. And, like my parents experienced, this is where the local church leaders and mentors can step in and lead parents on a path of parenting and discipling.

Here is what we know: So goes the family, so goes the church, so goes the culture. If we’re going to shift our culture back to God, it starts in the home.


A WAY FORWARD

Parents need more than prayer and preaching; they need a plan. They also need accountability and mentors to guide them along the way. My wife and I developed the Family S.H.I.F.T. Mentoring Program, which offers exactly that. This 90-day mentoring experience for parents provides a crucial framework so that parents can make a powerful spiritual “shift” in their family for better direction, focus, motivation, community and purpose.

The purpose of the Family S.H.I.F.T. Mentoring and Certification Program is to set parents up for success with a parenting playbook. Whether they are just starting their parenting journey, are single parents, in a blended family or are parents seeking to grow in their intentionality, all can find purpose and hope.

Our goal is to jump-start the discipleship journey for parents by inviting them to participate in a 90-day (13-week) mentoring program using the S.H.I.F.T. framework, and to be mentored (discipled) by another spiritually mature parent along the way.

Our vision is to equip churches and church leaders everywhere with a plan for training parents to help “shift the drift” at home. This is more than just another small group or program; it’s a call to lead a movement to shift this generation, and future generations, back to God!

In the past decade especially, nearly every parent has witnessed the spiritual and moral decline among our children. I know of so many parents who feel defeated on a daily basis. They’re overwhelmed with distractions, feeling inadequate and living in a “reactive mode” that drives them further apart from their teen. They’re confused about their priorities and how to communicate with their children—and are sometimes losing their marriage or family in the process.

So, you may ask, what’s at stake for lacking a spiritual game plan for your family? Everything.

In Deuteronomy 6:5-6, God gives parents a profound divine mandate. This mandate calls parents to pass on God’s relational, spiritual and moral precepts and principles to the next generation. Obviously, God understands the important role every parent has in leading the hearts of their children. We must follow His lead with wisdom and intentionality.

Parents, it’s time to experience a shift in your priorities and leave a legacy for heavenly purposes. You can establish new spiritual and relational routines and habits and gain a clear purpose and direction for your family. You can learn how to define your core beliefs, values and virtues as a family, creating guideposts and guardrails for the future.

Most importantly, you can establish a spiritual legacy and, if possible, tell stories of God’s faithfulness from previous generations. Don’t let God’s good work in you and those who’ve come before you fall by the wayside. Teach your children to “walk in the way of the good and keep to the paths of the righteous” (Proverbs 2:20).


A LASTING LEGACY

As a lead pastor for more than 30 years of ReThink Life Church, my heart has always been rooted in the local church, the body of Christ. This legacy began with my parents and the man who mentored them. As my family proves, just one person can help leave a lasting Christian legacy for generations. That person can be you.

Parents, if you are feeling weary and overwhelmed, there’s a reason. The truth is, the greatest spiritual battle we often face is not with our children, but in ourselves. It’s hard for us as parents to teach our children godly principles if we struggle with embodying them ourselves. That’s the ugly truth, and the real issue we must acknowledge. Impacting our children starts with us as parents stepping up to the plate, developing a game plan and becoming teachable. By making a commitment to reconnect with God and invest in yourself, you’re also investing in the spiritual future of your children, and your children’s children.

While we can see that many parents are facing a spiritual family crisis today, there are solutions. What many parents don’t understand is that a legacy is not something we leave for our family but in our family. This is what will continue from generation to generation.

Of course, in the parenting journey, the ultimate measure of success won’t be truly revealed until we stand before God to give an account for what we did with the precious gifts He entrusted us with—our children. As parents, our most significant contribution to the kingdom of God may not be something we do . . . but someone we raise.