The Discomfort Zone

By Martijn van Tilborgh

What if the very idea of a “comfort zone” is the greatest adversary of growth? What if the safety zone, the tried-and-true business strategies and the rinse-and-repeat formulas that have brought you some success are actually the enemy of your future?

The truth is no one will remember the things you did that worked. They will remember what you did that no one else would do. What would it take for you to be an audacious dreamer, undeterred by the risk of an enormous vision?

I want to issue a challenge to awaken the disruptive leader within you, the one who finds solace—and maybe even a thrill—in the wilderness of challenge and change.

In my book Unorthodox, I take a deep dive into the heart of what it means to lead with the conviction that drives all revolutionary leaders: Leadership is a continuous pursuit of the extraordinary in the face of the ordinary. It is a lifestyle of healthy rebellion against the status quo, an obstinate pursuit of “different” and an unmalleable expectation to stand out from the crowd and make waves that will change the world.

But there are pitfalls and shortcuts along the way—appeals to settle for business as usual. In this article, I want to explore four of the temptations that will derail your journey to becoming an unorthodox leader.

COMPLACENCY: THE WILDERNESS IS NOT YOUR COMFORT ZONE.

Many dream about becoming an influential leader—to change the world. Then, when you become a leader . . . reality sets in. The truth is that fulfilling the dream God has given you is hard. Once you have reached a level of success, people around you may look at you and think, You have it so easy! Have you ever heard that before?

I get it. I was there once myself, marveling at the guys who “made it.” Those who were leading organizations with big budgets where money didn’t seem to be an issue and where everything they undertook seemed to be successful.

Somehow, I came to believe the lie that once you become one of “those guys,” you don’t need as much faith to remain successful. In my mind, I would no longer be chasing after the dream. I would just announce my arrival by reclining, kicking my feet up, sipping on my coffee and eating bonbons.

Fast-forward, and now I have come to be one of “those guys” and have come to the harsh realization that eating bonbons means saying goodbye to success.

More success will require more faith and more responsibility. Yes, I know it sounds counterintuitive, but I promise you—it’s true. The pursuit of God’s potential in your life will demand a greater level of faith with every success you experience. And here I was, thinking I only needed faith in the wilderness!

Yet, the promised land is where your faith is truly put to the test, so much so that going back to the wilderness seems like an appealing option. Sure, right after you leave Egypt, the wilderness is a scary place. It feels unfamiliar, unpredictable and dangerous. Yet, after being there for a while, it actually becomes familiar to you. It’s not so bad after all. In fact, the wilderness becomes not only familiar but attractive. Predictable even!

That’s because familiarity demands less responsibility. All we have to do is follow the leader. True, there isn’t much abundance to go around but come early morning, there is always food. Before you know it, you have made a home in a place that looks and feels comfy but is actually stuffy and even hostile. Don’t be fooled!

Once you cross that River Jordan, these dynamics change instantly. The things you could count on in the wilderness are no longer there. Said another way—you are on your own! Or so it feels. God will still take care of you, but it requires a different kind of faith.

Going on autopilot isn’t an option anymore. There isn’t a standard process we can follow. The strategy that gives us victory over Jericho kicks our butts in Ai. You have to stay sharp in your promised land in order for your winning streak to continue. You are now burdened with the responsibility to lead well because failing to do so may get you (and others) hurt.

The promised land can wear you out and burn you out to the point where you will begin to desire the wilderness. This is difficult to comprehend if you have not yet made it to your promised land. Talk to any promised land resident, and they will tell you that fatigue is plentiful there. Yet, others won’t see it because they will be too focused on being you—that guy.

Today, I want to encourage you that fatigue is expected. In fact, if you are fatigued, you are doing something right. You are leading well. Most importantly, you are not alone.

Press on, push through it and whatever you do, do not give up. It’s not called the promised land for nothing. In fact, there are two promises waiting for you: the promise of pressure and the promise of plenty. Embrace the pressure and reap plenty.

CONFORMITY: COLOR OUTSIDE

THE LINES.

There’s a place for structure, boundaries and parameters in our business, ministry and even our families. They give you guardrails, they offer a sense of order when things feel a bit blurry and in some ways, they can even protect us.

But just like with anything else in life, you must be able to discern the difference between the protective qualities of a framework and the restrictive qualities of rules that keep you small.

You only need to look to children to understand the difference. You’ve likely seen a child in their own little world, crayons in hand, coloring their little hearts out. Before children develop fine motor skills, they cannot stay within the lines. The shape or figure had order, defined parametric lines—before they got their hands on it!

Yet, children are about the most innovative creatures in existence!

So, when I reference lines and colors, I’m talking about the defaults and templates that exist in our business and ministry worlds. There are certain procedures and patterns for how things are done. The catch is that, sometimes, these patterns actually hold us back from innovating.

When I was younger, I believed I was called into the ministry. I also believed, based on the ministry templates I’d been surrounded with my entire life, that this limited me to three branches of employment: a pastor, a missionary or an itinerant speaker.

Today, I believe God is far more creative than that! When we go beyond our self-imposed limits, we’ll find that there’s so much more in store for us than the templates we’ve created for ourselves.

You have a unique gift—a unique color. Nobody else in all of history will possess the exact value and color you bring to the table. Therefore, your color automatically falls outside the lines anybody else can draw for you.

There is only one you! What does this mean? It means you’re free to defy the expectations and limitations that culture or business models try to place on you. This isn’t an anti-authority message—it’s an anti-conformity message.

So often, our greatest potential lies dormant because we subscribe to the notion that we need to mold ourselves into what’s expected of us. When we kneel to expectations, we become a clone of others who kneel to those same expectations. You’ve got more in you.

Coloring outside the lines means we embrace this truth: No one structure can facilitate a world where every individual finds and maximizes his or her unique purpose.

This is my call to you today: Get a little messy, break some culturally imposed rules and color outside the lines!

COPYING: IMITATION DOES NOT EQUAL RELEVANCE.

I love this scripture from Ephesians 3:10: “ . . . to the intent that now the manifold wisdom of God might be made known by the church to the principalities and powers in the heavenly places” (NKJV).

God is not one-dimensional. He is manifold. By divine design, He’s created each individual to display and manifest an authentic aspect of who He is to the world. Our organizations should be unique, creative expressions of who He is so the world around us can get to know Him.

Yet so many times we are merely copycats of others: We choose the easy route by finding someone else who has a measure of success, and then we model our organization after them in an attempt to attain greatness. We look at big organizations and try to become like them.

I know it’s tempting to copy ideas, models and approaches based on established success stories. I’m sure you have heard the maxim, “Find success by doing what successful people do.” While there’s some truth and wisdom in this (leaders should always remain lifelong learners), we cross over into the danger zone when we become them. It’s the fallacy of remaining relevant.

Instead of staying relevant by copying someone else’s ideas, God wants us to create relevance—to set the standard. He wants us to become an expression of His divine inspiration, which, by definition, is unique and one-of-a-kind.

Ephesians 3:10 says the principalities and powers need to be confronted by the infinite spectrum of diverse creative expressions that display who He is. And He wants to do that through you and me!

Stop looking for “the next big thing” by modeling after others. Don’t borrow from other people. Those things produce mediocrity at best because they were never meant for you in the first place.

Think about the men and women of the Bible whom God chose to free nations, reconcile them to Himself and invite all of humankind to share in the glory of His Son. Their victories were found in the unique giftings God gave them. Moses was chosen to lead the Israelites out of slavery and into the Promised Land. David was chosen because of his lifelong vocation as a shepherd and warrior—the perfect choice for a king (and a forerunner to Jesus). Paul was charged to be the apostle sent by Jesus Christ.

I think you get the picture. We are the body of Christ. This means that our callings are different. They are meant to complement each other—a feat that would be impossible if you were the same body part as someone else.

Today, seek inspiration for new and creative ideas––ones that will truly make a difference. You will be surprised at what you find on the other side. Be someone who will make known yet another aspect of His manifold wisdom that has never been seen before!


COMPETITION: WHY BUILD THE TALLEST BUILDING IN TOWN?

When you want to own the tallest building in the city, there are two strategies to accomplish that vision. The first is simply to tear down and demolish every building in town that is taller than yours. This is probably the easiest way to accomplish the desired outcome.

The second is to actually build the tallest building.

The problem with the first strategy is that tearing down everybody else doesn’t actually make you any better. You are still you, exactly the same way you were before you tore apart the other person.

Sure, you may end up with the tallest building in town, but only at the expense of others and not because your building ended up being any taller than before. You simply brought others down to your level of mediocrity.

It’s a spirit of competition that leads us down this path. A spirit that shouldn’t be part of our thinking to begin with. In fact, it may be worth asking the question of whether or not the desire to build the tallest building is actually rooted in the right mindset. Could there be an alternative option that will allow you to be successful without having to “beat” someone else?

So often, we tend to focus on how we can earn more points on the scoreboard, not realizing the scoreboard we’re looking at is referencing how we rank in a world of mediocrity. The best thing that can happen to us within that paradigm is that you and I become the best mediocre versions of ourselves that we can possibly become.

If that’s the game you want to play, then you should certainly keep doing what you are doing. Who knows, maybe you can do a little better than that person next door.

There’s another option—and, in my opinion, a much better option. One that will not only enable you to build the skyscraper you dream of building but will also allow you to recruit others who are doing better than you.

That’s right, your competition can become your collaborators. If you’ve got other builders on your side, your building will grow much taller than you could have built on your own.

So, you start by refusing to operate in a world of mediocrity. You set yourself apart the way God already has.

Competition creates an illusion of success. Let’s be honest. Business owners hustling and measuring themselves against other successful business owners put off an air of higher-level competency, and ambitious leaders are drawn to that.

But you have to be really careful to see through that because the moment you are lured in by the spirit of competition is the moment you put yourself at risk of eating from their table instead of the table God has prepared for you. Make no mistake: You are a one-of-a-kind builder. The value you bring knows no competition.

FROM CONVENTIONAL TO UNORTHODOX

“Conventional” must be eliminated from our business vernacular. It no longer has a place in the vocabulary of anyone who wishes to walk ahead of the pack. Convention, in a sense, is the assassin of impact.

To be conventional is to follow the map; to be unorthodox is to draw your own. To be conventional is to use a key to unlock a door; to be unorthodox is to pick the lock. To be conventional is to whisper, “This is what has always worked”; to be unorthodox is to declare, “There’s a better way.”

Throw out your predictable programs and step into the arena of unorthodox leadership. God uses singular (and unlikely!) voices to capture the attention of an entire nation and, sometimes, the world. There are countless people waiting to hear from those who speak louder than the rest, who are so unorthodox in their thinking that they know—without a doubt—that it is God’s maverick spirit working in them and through them simply because of their shameless unorthodoxy.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but God is pretty unorthodox. A leader who is humble and courageous enough to allow God to fashion him into His unorthodox image will spread the gospel faster than leaders who choose the path most traveled simply because they are leading the way Christ leads His people.

Your unique imprint in God’s kingdom will spread like wildfire, and people will notice. They will know there is something different about you. Like a moth to the flame, they too will begin to brave the Wild West, following your lead, creating a ministry of their own that will shake the very foundations of “acceptable.”

Faith grows in tandem with pressure. Leaders can find strange comfort in the constant stretching of their capacity. The way you lead your organization or ministry should be a magnet for souls who are stuck in the same narrative and the mundane rhythms of work. The way you lead should be a crucible of divine challenge that becomes your battle cry, one that doesn’t just tickle the ears but marks the heart for eternal purpose.