Longing for the Wilderness

By Martijn van Tilborgh

Many of you reading this will recognize what I’m about to say. Being a leader and fulfilling the dream that God has given you is hard. Sure, once you have reached a level of success, people around you may look at you and think, It must be easy!

I get it. I was there once myself. Looking at the guys “who had made it.” Those who were leading organizations with big budgets where money didn’t seem to be an issue and where everything they undertook seemed to be successful. Somehow, I came to believe the lie that once you had arrived at that level that it would require less faith or something.

Years later, now that I have become “one of them,” I have come to the harsh realization that the opposite is true.

More success will require more faith and more responsibility.

Yes, I know it sounds counterintuitive, but I promise you it’s true. 

The pursuit of God’s potential in your life will demand a greater level of faith with every success you experience. 

And here I was, thinking that I only needed faith in the wilderness. 

Yet the promised land is where your faith is truly put to the test. So much so that going back to the wilderness seems like an appealing option. 

Let me explain. 

I’ve always been intrigued with the story of Abraham—an ordinary man who grew up in the midst of a pagan society in Mesopotamia, a region now known as Iraq. 

One could argue that Abraham was an unlikely candidate to be noticed by God. Yet God, in His unwavering desire to make us prosper, met Abraham in his idolatry to show him a greater reality of what his life could look like.  

In Genesis 12: 1-3 we read the following account:

The Lord had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you.  “I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.”

God had seen something in Abraham that he couldn’t see about himself. Until that moment, Abraham had assumed a life of mediocrity. Yet God’s words spoken caused Abraham to not just see his life as it was, but life as it could be. This new reality gave Abraham the courage to uproot his family and embark on a journey that would revolutionize his future. 

Like He saw things in Abraham He sees things in us that we can’t see about ourselves. Things that can become a reality, if we have the courage to leave the old behind in pursuit of the land that He will show us. 

You see, God will never speak to our mediocre status quo. He will always speak to our potential future. 

The dictionary defines potential as “having the capacity to become something in the future.”

Now, just because you have the capacity it doesn’t mean that success is guaranteed. 

When I was with Bishop Michael Pitts the other day, he said it this way: “Potential is not what I have done, but what I haven’t done, but can still do. Potential is not what I have, but what I do not have, but what I still can have. Potential is not who I am, but who I am not, but still can be.” 

God speaks to our potential. He speaks about the future as it can be, if we’re willing to take the journey. However, this whole process is not for the faint of heart. Just because God speaks to our potential doesn’t mean that it’s going to be easy. In fact, when you study Abraham’s journey from Ur to the land that God was showing him you’ll find out quickly enough that he wasn’t traveling in a straight line.

His journey took all kinds of twists and turns. At times he seemed to be traveling in the opposite direction to where God wanted him to go. On one occasion he even traveled down to Egypt after finally arriving in his Land of Promise. Let’s just say that he didn’t pick the shortest route on his GPS. To say that Abraham’s journey was confusing and difficult would be an understatement. 

Abraham’s promised land has become a metaphor for us of the potential God speaks over our lives. Our lives as they can be, not as they are. But like Abraham, our journey will likely take some twists and turns as well. 

The price of seeing potential manifest is great. 

Jesus says it this way: “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it” (Matthew 13:45-46).

Potential isn’t cheap. Once you’ve seen the reality of what could be, it will require everything to acquire it. And in the process, you’ll be tempted to throw in the towel and give up. You’ll ask whether or not all of this is even worth it. You’ll start to redefine the memory of your past and tell yourself, After all, life in Mesopotamia was pretty good.

When, many generations later, Abraham’s descendants decided to take the journey to their land of promise, they encountered similar dynamics. We all know the stories of the Israelites complaining against Moses about how they wished they had never left Egypt. They mostly complained about the lack of food. What were they going to eat. At least in Egypt they had something. 

Longing for the past while things get tough is pretty normal. I’m sure we’ve all encountered this irrational desire at times to go back to what we so desperately hated when we were living it. 

Longing for Egypt is one thing. Longing for the wilderness is something else! 

Let me explain. Like Abraham, you have heard God declare the potential that He sees over your life. It has helped you escape the environment and culture that you grew up in. Now you find yourself in the wilderness trying to transition into what you believe God wants to give you. The wilderness is tough. You wonder if you’re even going to survive it. In those moments you long for the “security” of what once was. The place you left behind. 

But you push through and start seeing the promises of God manifest in your life. You see the potential become a reality right before your eyes, as you possess the land that God has given you. 

In that moment the desire for Egypt disappears. It simply isn’t there anymore. Yet it is replaced by something else. 

The desire for the wilderness!

If you have never experienced your promised land, you will not understand, but I promise you the struggle is real. 

Why would anyone desire the wilderness over the promise? 

It’s a great question, but again, if you haven’t experienced the level of success where you truly start seeing your potential becoming a reality, it probably won’t make sense to you. 

Yet desiring the wilderness over the promise isn’t a new concept. In Numbers 34 we read the account of two and a half tribes who expressed the desire for the wilderness over the promise. In fact, they settled in the wilderness and never got to experience their promised land long term. 

What was it about the wilderness that they liked so much? 

Here’s my conclusion … 

Sure, right after you leave Egypt, the wilderness is a scary place. It feels unfamiliar, unpredictable and dangerous. Yet after being there for a while, it actually becomes familiar to you. It’s not so bad after all. 

In fact, the wilderness is pretty predictable. It doesn’t require much responsibility. All we have to do is follow the leader. Yeah, there isn’t much of an abundance, but come early morning there is always food. In a weird way, the wilderness can actually be a pretty comfortable place to live. 

As long as you follow the rules you’ll be OK. 

In other words, you learn to trust the process. You wake up every morning, and you get to live another day. 

Once you cross that river Jordan these dynamics will change completely. The things you could count on in the wilderness are no longer there. No more manna in the morning. No more leader telling you what to do.

In some ways you are on your own! 

Yes, God will still take care of you, but it requires a different kind of faith. 

Instead of going through the routines of the wilderness, you are now responsible to make things happen. No more free handouts. 

The wilderness was predictable. You knew what was coming. You knew how God was going to take care for you. It was comfortable. 

Now that you are experiencing your promised land, it suddenly isn’t predictable anymore. Remember, once the Israelites entered the promised land, it required a different strategy for every city they took. 

So going on autopilot wasn't an option anymore. There wasn’t a “standard process” they could follow. How they dealt with their victory over Jericho got their butts kicked in Ai. 

You had to stay sharp in your promised land in order for your winning streak to continue. 

No assumptions. You are now burdened with the responsibility to lead well. Because failing to do so may get you (and others) hurt. 

The promised land can wear you out. It can burn you out to the point that you start desiring the wilderness. When you have never been in your promised land, you won’t understand. Yet those who have will understand the fatigue that can come with what others perceive as easy. 

Today I want to encourage you that those feelings are normal. You are not alone. 

Yet at the same time, it is foolish to desire Egypt over the wilderness. It’s foolish to desire the wilderness over the promise. 

I encourage you to press through and not give up. Like the one pearl, the payoff of the promise is worth the investment of losing everything else. 

Hang in there. You’re going to make it! 

Like Abraham, at the end of your life you’ll be able to look back with amazement of how much of the spoken potential has actually become a reality. A reality that didn’t just impact your life, but the lives of others, as well as generations to come. 

Stay strong!