Leave a Better Legacy

I was a wide-eyed five-year-old kid who just loved sitting in the front row of Daddy’s church. You’d find me there every Sunday morning and Wednesday evening, and often even Thursday or Friday night as well. The church was our life. I grew up in it, and I absolutely loved it.

Sunday after Sunday, after we finished singing our hymns, Daddy would get up on the platform and, as a prelude to his message, ask us all to turn to our left and look at the wall—a wall with absolutely nothing on it.

He’d continue by saying, “Now I want you to look beyond the wall with your eyes of faith and see a 5,000-seat auditorium. See it filled with people. See the crowds coming to every service. See people getting free from things that have held them captive. See those who haven’t been loved receiving love. Look out and see the altar filled with people turning their lives around and receiving the hope of eternal life. Now let’s put our faith together and pray.”

At that time, our church seated a few hundred people, but Daddy, being the visionary he was, knew there was much more around the corner. As I remember it, this happened at the start of every service, and I thought it was normal. While I didn’t know what a 5,000-seat auditorium looked like, I knew it was bigger than the one we sat in.

My little five-year-old mind saw a giant church filled with people who were happy, singing, coming to the altar, receiving prayer and getting healed. I can tell you that it wasn’t long before we had that 5,000-seat auditorium, and as I sat in the front row of the new church building, guess what I saw? A church filled with thousands of people singing and happy to be together. I watched during each service as individuals came from all walks of life to find hope, love, freedom and eternal life. It was just like we had prayed it would be.

Beyond that proverbial wall of faith was our miracle, just waiting for us to walk into it. My dad had no idea what he was teaching me every Sunday, but he was showing me to believe God for big things ... to dream God-sized dreams. He was showing me how to stand in faith for things that, at the time, might even seem ridiculous. He showed me how to talk about it and to see it through my eyes of faith. I learned to look for what I was believing for every day, to prepare for it and speak as if the thing I was praying for was real and in the process of being delivered. Daddy taught me not to focus on what was staring me in the face, but to always look beyond that “wall” with eyes of faith.

My dad wasn’t always a visionary. In fact, he had very humble beginnings. Born in 1921, in Paris (Paris, Texas, that is), he was the youngest of six kids, and was raised on a cotton farm. His family didn’t have much to start with, but when the Great Depression hit, the little they had dropped to almost nothing. My dad and his siblings would go days without much to, and many times he was sent to school with only a small biscuit to nibble on for the whole day. He often had to stand in long lines waiting for free milk and food. Times were tough.

When my dad got older and had a family of his own, he was determined that his children would never face the poverty that he’d experienced as a child. He knew his parents had tried and done the best that they could. He was grateful for them and all their efforts to provide for him and his siblings, but he sure didn’t want his family to know what “barely making it” felt like.

He decided to do whatever was necessary to break the cycle of poverty in his family line once and for all. He wanted to demonstrate that the past had no power over him anymore. That one decision and determination allowed my family to grow up in a blessed and prosperous home, one that I am grateful for and desire to pass down to my children.

I love that Daddy knew change began with him. He was determined to change the course of his bloodline. He realized he could either keep living a life of poverty or take a stand against it. He decided that, although poverty continued to run in the family, it would stop when it ran into him. This one decision to be the one to break the cycle and put his family on a better path changed the course of his life and his legacy.

A better path didn’t mean life was without difficulties. My dad and mom never knew what they’d have to face after 27 years of marriage and 25 years of pastoring Lakewood Church.

In 1981 my healthy, energetic mom went to the doctor because of a pain in her side. During her examination, the doctor noticed something abnormal. He immediately admitted her to the hospital for extensive tests. Her “check-up” turned into a several-week stay in the hospital. The prognosis was shocking. The doctor told my mom and dad that she had metastatic cancer of the liver.

At that time, he expressed that chemotherapy and radiation wouldn’t benefit her because the cancer had spread and was too far gone to respond to any treatment. As if that information wasn’t grim enough, he also added that mama only had a few weeks to live.

The day Daddy brought her home from the hospital was one I’ll never forget. I certainly wasn’t expecting what I saw. Mama had changed so drastically in a very short period of time. My once-healthy, 48-year-old mom now looked very sick—she looked like death. Her skin was jaundiced, and she seemed so incredibly fragile. She weighed 88 pounds and looked like she was 98 years old.

I watched as my mom and dad went into their bedroom and laid down on the floor before God. Daddy spoke God’s Word over my mom and talked from his heart in a simple, sincere plea to God and said, “I need my wife, and our children need their mother.”

I then watched as my little mama got up and placed her Bible on the floor. She slowly put her tiny feet on the Word—she physically stood upon it. I’d never before, and haven’t since, seen such a graphic display of someone “standing on God’s Word.” Standing on her Bible, and with a shaky, yet bold voice, she spoke out, “Father, the only thing between me and death is Your Word … and I’m choosing to stand on Your Word.”

I watched from the doorway, unnoticed by my parents. I happened to be the only child at home during this time, and I was certainly a captive audience. I was mesmerized as I stood there, silently watching and listening. I never dreamed these moments would be forever etched in my mind or that they’d have such a powerful impact on the rest of my life. To say I was amazed would be an understatement.

The next morning, I woke up and got ready for school. I can remember, like it was yesterday, the picture I saw when I walked into our kitchen. There on the table was my hot breakfast. My sack lunch was in its usual place on the counter, just like every other school morning. Standing by the sink, washing dishes, of all things, was my little, frail mother. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

“Mama, what are you doing up? You need to be in bed,” I said.

She turned around and looked me right in the eyes. “April, I’m not going to lie in bed like a sick person. I believe I am healed and I’m going to act like a healed person.”

At that moment, Mama became my hero. As I looked into her eyes, I no longer saw death, but instead, I saw a soul surging through and through with life. Her determination to live showed me how to be a fighter—and not a lightweight, but a heavyweight. After all, she had fully grasped that this was her life the doctors were talking about.

This wasn’t some Bible story. It wasn’t someone else. It was her life, and it was very real. I watched my mom shift into fighting mode. I saw her actually stand on the Word of God with a determination I’d never seen from anyone before. I heard her speak daily (many times a day), “I will live and not die, and I will tell what the Lord has done” (Psalm 118:17, ERV).

My mama was determined that she wasn’t going anywhere and certainly not without a fight. And she sure wasn’t about to just lay down and surrender to death.

I’m happy to say, after a year of battling and standing on the promises of God, my little mama won. She was, and remains to this day, completely cancer-free. Talk about a miracle!

I know Mama wouldn’t be here today if she hadn’t decided to be a fighter. It took some bulldog tenacity, that’s for sure. It took a “never-give-up” spirit. It took a warrior mentality. She was in it to win it, and with God as her fighting partner, win it she did. I sometimes wonder if she realized at the time that she was also training up another warrior. A little warrior who desperately needed her mother. A little warrior who was praying on the sidelines, just like she’d watched her mother and father do. A little warrior who witnessed, firsthand, that God was still in the miracle-working business.

I know that every story doesn’t end in the same way. In fact, I’m often asked what I would’ve thought if Mama had lost her battle with cancer. I can only tell you this. I would still be able to say she taught me to fight and stand on God’s Word. She taught me how to pray when life gets difficult, and to trust God even when life throws impossible situations your way.

Her fight wouldn’t have been vain. Had she chosen to gracefully check out of life and make her entry into heaven, I would’ve still reflected on how she never wavered on the Promises of God. She truly believed then, and continues to believe today, that God is who He says He is. He really can do what His Word says He can do.

I share these stories because, even though they happened quite some time ago, the impact they’ve had and still have on my life are astounding. Because of my parents, I’ve learned to look beyond the wall with eyes of faith and dream big dreams. I’ve discovered it’s not just what you profess to believe from the pulpit, but how you act and believe in private that matters. 

I’ve learned to love God during the good times and the challenging times and that miracles still happen even when it seems impossible. I’ve learned it’s really not about how you start, but all about how you finish. And I’m grateful for learning that at any given moment, I have the power to change my story for the better.

Legacy matters.

What you believe defines who you are and who you are affects generations to come.

Look at it this way: while you’re waiting for your miracle or things to change in your situation for the better, you’re teaching your loved ones how to act and believe during difficult times.

You’re teaching them by your example how to respond when tough circumstances arise.

You’re showing them what you believe about God when the “stuff” of life hits you squarely in the face.

They’re watching and learning from your behavior.

You're living out your legacy right in front of them.

Billy Graham once said, “The greatest legacy one can pass on to one’s children and grandchildren is not money or other material things accumulated in one’s life, but a legacy of character and faith.”

Think about it this way:

• Every time you don’t give up, you’re teaching your children to not give up when life gets hard.
• Every time you get back up after falling down, you’re teaching your children to be “get back uppers.”
• Every time you speak life during difficulty, you’re teaching your children to speak life.
• Every time you show your children you still love God and believe in Him during a challenge, you’re teaching your children to run to God and not away from Him.

How you live and act and respond and believe and pray is impacting and affecting your bloodline. Whether we realize it or not, we are passing something down to the next generation ... what imprint will our life make on others?

Do you know you’re standing inside your legacy right now? You’re the author of your story.

The great news is if you don't like your story, change it! Rewrite the narrative. Realize that just because you didn’t come from a healthy family doesn’t mean a healthy family can’t come from you. Life really is what you make it. When you strive for change, you’re not only breaking the cycle for yourself, but for generations to come. Just like my dad did. The decision doesn’t mean everything will instantly be perfect. But nothing can change without the decision. That’s the first step.

Decide that you’re not going to allow your past to dictate your future. Your new mantra can be, “It ran in the family, until it ran into me!” Break the cycle. Become the best version of yourself you can be. Choose compassion. Choose unconditional love. Choose empathy. Choose forgiveness. Choose mercy and grace. Be the person you needed when you were going through the challenges of life. Set a new course. Form a new habit. Create a better legacy for your children.

Start living a legacy that’s better than ever.

We only get one shot at this thing called life. Let’s make every single day count. Like it or not, your life will tell a story. Make sure it’s a good one. Just think: you get to decide the memories and legacy you want to leave. Why not make them great ones? After all, inheritance is what you leave to someone, legacy is what you leave inside someone.

This article was extracted from Issue 8 (Winter 2021) of the AVAIL Journal. Claim your free annual subscription here.